In Love With Your Madness
by VenustusLovesJames
Summary: Harry suffers from PTSD after the war. Draco Malfoy, a trained healer, faces the struggles of living with and loving Harry Potter, whilst keeping his promise; to stay forever. Ratings for language and mentions of intimacy.


_**A/N: Hello everyone! It's been a long while since I wrote anything, and this was a small break from my exams. I still have tons of stress on my shoulders and loads of exams to take, so wish me luck. T.T I decided to do a headcanon ask, and one of the fans from my page gave me lovely things to be able to write this. My mere inspiration was her demand, plus the song "Madness" by the band Muse, and it's a son e. :D**_

Enjoy, and please leave a review and a favorite if you enjoyed this story! Keep shipping!

Pairing: Drarry  
Setting: Post-war  
Random word: Madness  
Place: Grimmauld Place. 

_**Summary: Harry suffers from PTSD after the war. Draco Malfoy, a trained healer, faces the struggles of living with and loving Harry Potter, whilst keeping his promise; to stay forever.**_

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The sun was shining through the curtains and into the big bedroom that the two male figures rested, cuddled against each other. Those figures belonged to the famous Harry Potter, and the also equally famous Draco Malfoy.

Draco had spent the previous night soothing and calming down Harry, as always. But this time, Harry was different.

After the war had ended, almost five years ago, both males had gone through a lot. Harry was taken into Auror Training, during which he snapped and had multiple panic attacks and posttraumatic stress, and was the reason that he failed his training. He then was taken into mental-health care, and that's how he and Draco ended up living together.

Draco had decided to study as a Healer after the war, since seeing the huge loss and feeling unable to help anyone with anything. He spent three years into training and studying everything he could, and then he was finally able to help people. He majored in mind-healing techniques, so he worked his path from there. And then came across Harry Potter.

Everything started a little less than two years before their current situation. Harry was seeking someone to help him fight his PTSD and Draco wanted to help people and work as a Mind-Healer. When Harry came into the hospital he was working at, Draco was extremely surprised to see him.

What followed was hours of conversations with Potter, about the war, and his memories that seemed to all blame him for the loss of so many people during the battle of Hogwarts, which Harry obviously couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to. Draco still had loads of patients during the days, but whenever he saw Harry, something made him want to stay longer and keep talking to the man. After time, he was assigned Harry fully, and they started having deeper and more thoughtful conversations.

One day, Harry suggested they should go out. He'd been much happier after every time he saw Draco, and he couldn't get the other man out of his head. Dealing with his PTSD wasn't the only problem; he developed a crush on Draco soon after they saw each other again after three years.

Both of them had grown enough to leave their pasts behind and work out the fact that both of them were gay, and into each other.

And now, they were dating and Draco had very recently moved into Harry's house, at Grimmauld Place. The first two weeks were normal, with various memories of good times and everything calm and nice. But when night fell, Draco realized how sick Harry actually was.

This was just another one of those mornings after Harry had kept him up all night. In those eight weeks that he'd spent in Harry's house, Draco had realized that not only Harry was still sick, but he was getting worse.

In the night, Harry suffered horrible, vivid nightmares. And Draco used spells and calming draughts and everything he'd learned as a Healer, but Harry never made it past two hours of calmness before he shrieked and started sobbing or screaming in his sleep, experiencing another horrible nightmare.

Draco always tried his best to keep Harry calm during the night. He made him tea with a small amount of Calming Draught and Dreamless Sleep potions, without Harry knowing. He cast protective spells and safety spells around their room and bed so Harry wouldn't sleepwalk and run off in the middle of the night.

It was madness.

Harry often woke up, searching for Draco and he'd always clutch against his chest and sob for a few minutes, before calming down and falling asleep on the blond's wet t-shirt.

Draco didn't mind that at all, because he was in love. Madly.

He was well aware that he kept Harry safe at night. That if he hadn't been there when the nightmares returned, Harry could've ended up hurting himself unintentionally. But after a while, it became madness.

As morning breached them, Draco woke up with a small yawn, stretching his arms and watching his lover sleep next to him, with messy hair and silver trails of last night's tears. He noticed a small bruise on Harry's arm. 'That has to be from when I grabbed and shook him awake.' Draco thought to himself, looking away from the sleeping Gryffindor.

"Morning…" came a hoarse whisper and Draco felt a gentle kiss being planted on his neck, soon being joined by a resting chin and the feeling of Harry's nose nuzzling against his head.

"Hey." Draco whispered back and reached behind him to hold Harry's hand.

"Did I let you sleep at all?" Harry mumbled sadly. He knew he was keeping Draco up during the nights that he had nightmares, but he had no idea of why they returned.

"Yeah, you passed out from four to nine… I got some sleep somewhere during that." The blond said gently.

"I'm sorry…"

_'Every time'_ "It's okay."

"It's not. This stupid thing I have is affecting us… We haven't… We haven't had sex in three weeks, Draco… And… you're not getting enough sleep with me around, and you have a job, and I don't and I feel horrible…" Harry whimpered, wrapping his arms around Draco's waist, hiding his face in the crook of Draco's neck.

"It's okay." He said softly and moved his head so he could kiss the top of Harry's head.

"It's _not!_" The other insisted.

"Harry, we've tried everything…" Draco sighed. "We've tried Calming Draughts, we've tried Dreamless Sleep, we've even tried erasing the memories from your head, but that almost drove you nuts when we tried with a small amount of memories, we tried every therapy there has been ever recorded and tested. You can't help it." He muttered in Harry's hair.

A big knot settled in Harry's throat, and he was unable to speak for a while. "I'm s-sorry…" he breathed and pulled away.

"Harry…" Draco said, moving so he could look at the male who had now turned his back to him. "Harry, you can't help it. Nobody can. It's madness, yes, but we'll learn through it. I love you too much to leave you on your own like that." He whispered and reached to touch Harry's arm; bad move.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO BE AFRAID OF THINGS SUCH AS LOSING YOU TO DEATH, OR SEEING DEATH EATERS GETTING CAUGHT, OR RELIVING EVERY FUCKING MOMENT OF THE WAR IN YOUR HEAD BECAUSE EVERYTHING TRIGGERS YOU SO MUCH THAT YOU PANIC IN BIG CROWDS, AND YOU PANIC WHEN YOU SEE POSTERS AND OLD NEWSPAPARES AND EVERYTHING HURTS, DRACO, EVERYTHING HURTS AND THE SCREAMS IN MY HEAD NEVER STOP AND I'M SORRY, I HATE MYSELF, I HATE THIS SICKNESS, I HATE MYSELF, JUST LET ME GO ALREADY!" Harry bellowed, yelling at the top of his lungs. By the end of his little speech, he was sobbing.

"Love…" Draco whispered with pain, pulling Harry for a tight hug and wrapping his arms protectively around him. "Breathe… Breathe for me, like we learnt… Please, breathe…" he whispered, rubbing his back up and down. He was so close to breaking down. He hated seeing Harry like this.

"Imsorry,imsorry,imsosorry…" Harry muttered a line of words that made no sense to Draco but sounded like broken apologies as he further hid in Draco's arms.

"This is the way you are, Harry. I've accepted how you are for a long time now." Draco whispered as he held him tightly, letting him cry.

"I'm so sorry, Draco… I keep making this harder for you…" Harry sobbed quietly, hiding in Draco's chest.

"I love you. Never forget that I love you." Draco whispered, fighting to keep himself sane.

"I'll never… Never, ever forget." He promised.

"Do you want pancakes?" Draco whispered in his ear as he kept rubbing small circles into Harry's back, feeling him relax into his arms.

"Only if they have vanilla ice cream on top." Harry mumbled in his chest, nuzzling more against his shirt.

"Deal, I'll go out and get you some." Draco whispered with a small, yet happy, smile.

"You're the best boyfriend ever." Harry whispered with a sniffle, moving back to look at Draco.

"And you best let me sleep with you in the next few hours, otherwise I'll flip." Draco warned and kissed him deeply, hugging him tightly before getting up from the bed and starting to dress himself in order to get Harry the ice cream he asked.

Though it seemed like madness most of the time, Draco was too in love to bother being sad over their little fights. He knew that Harry would heal, in time. Until then, Draco was willing to be by his side. He'd make sure he stayed by his side. He never liked breaking the promises he made.

_"Stay with me? Please?"_

"I'd gladly stay forever, only if it's with you."

"I love you. You're such a poet."

"Those French roots I have make me all romantic. But never tell anyone, my fame as a cold-hearted bastard will fade away."

"Deal."

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**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed. **

**~Venustus **


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